I have only a few rules, but I expect them to be respected. If you break my rules once, you will be punished. If you do so twice, you will be expelled from my service. Servants who have been expelled may only return through a severe financial and personal test.

Rule 1: Be obedient – do what I say, when I say it. If you are unsure of what I am telling you to do, you may ask for clarification, but if I suspect you of simply trying to delay the inevitable, my next order may be worse. By becoming my servant, you have handed over any free will you have to me, and I will specify certain parts of your life as my domain and ones where no action can be taken until I order it or approve it.

Rule 2. Be punctual – it is my perogative to be late, but not yours. If I agree to communicate with you at a particular time, I expect you to be ready with any prior instructions I have given you completed. This rule also applies to tributes. They should arrive punctually and without delay.

Rule 3. Proper address – at the end of your application interview, should I choose to take you on probation as a servant, you will be given a way to petition me to spend some of my valuable time with worthless you. Petitions that are improperly made run the risk of being ignored, especially if it happens more than once. Petitions aside, you will never speak unless spoken to or given prior permission. You will always address me by my proper title, which is “Mistress” with a capital “M.”

Rule 4. No whining – I have many servants clamoring for my attention, one more worthless than the next. If I do pay attention to you, count yourself lucky. If I don’t, or you desire more of my presence, I will not entertain complaints. The only way to get my attention is through tributes and complete obedience to my superior will.

Rule 5. Total Honesty – Your relationship with me is the only one you will ever have in your pathetic life where you can and must be completely honest. You will confide in me all of the darkest things you have done or would like to do. You will tell me anything I want to know.